Dick Pics, Dick Puns, and Englightenment

Nature is lousy with giggle sticks. CREDIT:  Jörg Hempel | CC BY-SA 3.0 DE | Wikimedia Commons.
Common Stinkhorn (Phallus impudicus) at Lake Åsnen, Sweden.

My friends: I have worshiped at the altar of Ol’ One Eye (no, not him) and come away a changed man.

I do believe I reached a higher level of enlightenment by viewing — in one evening — more bald-headed yogurt slingers than I’ve seen in my 28 years of life.

I found “Critiquing Dick Picks with Love” on Tumblr.

I’m not a fan of male genitalia, as a rule. (Hello Catholic upbringing, sexual orientation, self-loathing.) But sweet ding-a-ling, wow. For sure, it was a an uncomfortable experience at first. But I endured the endless assault of purple-helmeted warriors. The relentlessly positive perspective of the author and dick-critic Madeleine Holden won me over. The entire enterprise is committed to elevating the dick pic from (1) an aggressive picture of an epic wang choked to within an inch of its life designed to convey nothing except length and girth and a warped and narrow conception of masculinity and male sexuality to (2) an outlet for male vulnerability and eroticism treated with the same care and sophistication currently reserved for cis-female nudes. And the diversity!! The sheer variegation of be-veined schlongs! You will literally see one dick, two dicks, red dicks, blue dicks. A variety of races, sizes, shapes, sexualities, gender identities, sports professions, and a few strap-ons to boot.

There is one particular series submitted by a playful couple that is so utterly lovely, adorable, and heartwarming — yes, even with an at-attention member involved — that I want to share it here in all its glory, your propriety algorithms be damned. But I won’t, because I’m not a wanker. Check it out, though.

I challenge you to spend an evening surrounded by these trouser snakes (and one actual snake) and I promise you won’t regret it.

– K.

* * *

Oh, and if you needed to be notified that the links in a post explicitly about photos of man-meat might be, well, explicit … I’m not sure what to say to you.

It’s been a while, dear readers. As you might guess from previous posts, I have been struggling. But I have experienced a sea change (more to come on that) and you can expect a slowly increasingly flow of posts in the near future. I promise they won’t all be excuses to cram as many slang terms for penises as possible into a single post.

P.S. Next time it’s vaginas.


Gender and The Heterogeneity of Human Experience (With Slam Poetry)

Created using Purple Sherbet Photography/Flickr. Click photo for original.
Created using Purple Sherbet Photography/Flickr. Click photo for original.

I’m bringing my blog back to life and kicking the tires a bit. No more preamble, let’s get to it:

I don’t line up perfectly with our society’s definition of “man” (understatement) — and it has caused me a great deal of turmoil throughout my life. Even now I contemplate changing my gender label on Facebook as a statement of rebellion against the toxic and repressive way our society defines maleness AND as a way of better reflecting who I really am.

To make a superhero analogy that might require you to look up some names: I’d be as excited, if not more so, to wake up one morning as Carol Danvers or Jennifer Walters as I would Peter Parker or Kurt Wagner.

So, in solidarity with bisexual visibility day, and as a complement on the gender-identity side of the gender/sexuality divide, I post this. And I share this guy’s moving and dead-on response to the tyranny of “man up” — tyranny not just against women but against everyone who doesn’t fit an absurdly narrow conception that mutes the incredible heterogeneity of human experience.

Now watch this. Listen. And imagine a life taking all that anger and frustration and turning it inward.


A final request: please, spread this around. Just being visible as ourselves and not the simplified constructs of our cultures is possibly the best way we can change that culture. And it would mean more to me than you know.

Oh, and you know what, I did change that label.

Sincerely and genderqueerly,
– Kenrick